Defeat
by Searching for Serenity
Summary: This AU story is a sequel to my first two Continuum stories, Two Lost Souls and Denial. I imagined this happening after Season 3, Episode 3: Minute to Win It. Kiera's feelings for Kellog are revealed, and Alec tries to be a good friend.


Author's note: This AU story is a sequel to my first two Continuum stories, Two Lost Souls and Denial. I imagined this happening after Season 3, Episode 3: _Minute_ _to_ _Win_ _It_. The Alec in this story is the one that Kiera followed back in time.

* * *

 **Defeat**

Kiera had been on her way to meet Alec, when she had the misfortune of running into Kellog on the sidewalk.

He greeted her with a charming grin. "Kiera, what a pleasant surprise!"

She felt her heartbeat speed up, the way it always did in his presence. _Careful_ , she told herself, _you_ _can't_ _let_ _him_ _know_. She put on her most irritated expression. "What do you want, Kellog?" she snapped, trying to sound impatient.

"What, no hello?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm in a hurry, and I don't have time to deal with you and your mind games today!"

Undeterred, his smile grew even wider. "You know, I remember when we used to be friends – or something." His voice was still cheerful, although it sounded a bit forced.

This was dangerous territory. Kiera had to put a stop to this conversation now. She narrowed her eyes at him, feigning anger. " _We_ were never anything! Do you think I _wanted_ to associate with someone like you? You were a source of information, that's all." It came out sounding much harsher than she had intended. Inwardly, she winced. _Shit, that was too much!_

Matthew's smile vanished. He stood there, just staring at her, a shocked look on his face. Finally he responded, very quietly, "What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

His question caught her off guard. Not just the question, but the open, honest way he asked it. He sounded...vulnerable. Kiera felt a sharp stab of pain and guilt twist inside her. In that instant, she almost told him that she didn't hate him. Waves of misery washed through her. _I'm hurting him._ _I'm hurting myself. I can't take this anymore!_ She wanted to cry. _Get a hold of yourself._ She pushed her emotions back down.

Too late, though, because he must have seen something in her expression. "What is it?" he asked, sounding concerned.

She shook her head. _You can't tell him._ "Just leave me alone, Matthew!" She spun on her heel and went to walk away from him, but had only taken one step when she felt his hand grab her wrist.

"Kiera, wait!"

She turned back to face him, and found that they were now only inches apart. Her breath caught in her throat. She met his eyes, and was unable to look away. She saw the questions in his eyes, the turmoil he was feeling.

"Why did you leave the boat that night?" he asked in a whisper.

 _Not that question!_ Kiera felt panic surge up in her. She stared at him, frantically searching her mind for some excuse, and coming up blank. She didn't know what to say, except the truth. "I had to," she finally admitted, barely able to get the words out. "It was for the best."

"Why?" His eyes seemed to be pleading for an answer.

Her mouth was dry, and there was a lump in her throat. Her heart was pounding in her ears. "We were getting too close."

She saw his eyes widen as the meaning behind her words became clear. Then he closed the distance between them, and before she could even register what was happening, his mouth was on hers.

She stood frozen in shock for only a second, and then her eyes closed and her lips responded, as if by their own accord. Emotions that she'd been suppressing for far too long surged through her. For once, she let herself feel them. She poured them into the kiss. She felt light-headed with the intensity of it all. _What about Greg?_ The thought hit her like a slap. She jerked back, pulling away from him. _Oh, God, what have I done?!_

There was no way she could hide the pain she was feeling now, or the tears that were threatening to spill over. Her voice was choked when she whispered to him, "I can't. My family – I have to get back to them." She shook her head. "I can't do this." Then, before she broke down completely, she turned and fled from him, rushing blindly around the corner of a building.

* * *

Alec had been on his way to meet Kiera, when he caught sight of her and Kellog talking on the sidewalk across the street. _I wonder what that's about?_ While he waited for his turn to cross, he kept an eye on them, curious. He saw Kiera turn to walk away, saw Kellog grab a hold of her arm - _damn_! His view was obscured as a bus drove past. Then he caught sight of them again, and his mind reeled. _They're kissing?!_ _What the fuck?!_ But then Kiera pulled away, looking distraught and shaking her head, before turning and walking rapidly away. Kellog stood there, staring after her for a moment, before he turned and walked slowly in the opposite direction, looking dejected.

Alec couldn't believe what he'd just seen. He was shocked, and a little disgusted, and for some reason he felt betrayed. Not knowing what else to do, he decided to head to the park by the waterfront, where he had agreed to meet Kiera. _Maybe I can get some answers from her. Yeah, like that's really gonna happen._ As he walked up, he saw that she was already sitting on a bench. She was facing away from him, and seemed unaware of his approach. Without thinking, he blurted out, "You and Kellog?!" He made no attempt to hide his disapproval.

She turned to face him, hastily wiping at her cheeks with her hands, and he caught sight of her startled, blood-shot eyes.

"You saw us together." Her voice sounded thick, constricted.

Instantly, he felt like an idiot. "I'm sorry, Kiera, it's none of my business."

"It's okay," she said quietly.

He sighed, and sat down on the bench next to her. _What am I supposed to say now?_ Kiera didn't seem interested in talking, though. She remained silent, staring out at the water as though she was lost deep in thought. He nervously cast several side-long glances at her. Her eye makeup had run down her face in dark streaks, there were worry lines creasing her brow, and her expression – _God, she looks devastated._ Then, in a flash of clarity, he understood. "You love him, don't you?"

She didn't respond. _Shit!_ _I shouldn't have said that._ He held his breath, waiting for her to yell at him or something. But she didn't. Instead, she slowly nodded her head.

The breath he'd been holding escaped in a loud sigh. _Nothing good can come of this._ "Shit, Kiera, I'm sorry."

"Me, too." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Does he know?"

A troubled expression flickered across her face. "I don't know. I haven't told him, but I think he may have figured it out."

"From what I just saw, I think he feels the same."

Kiera dropped her head into her hands. "I know." After a few seconds, she took a deep breath and released it, then she raised her head and looked back out at the water.

"So...when did all this happen?"

She gave a weary sounding sigh. "After the bombing, when I disappeared for a while."

His eyebrows shot up. _That long ago..."_ You were with him?"

"Yeah."

"Did you sleep with him?" The question flew out of his mouth before he could stop it.

She turned toward him, scowling, and whispered crossly, "No, Alec, I didn't sleep with him!"

"Sorry, sorry." He held his hands up in front of him, as though to ward off an attack. "Of course you didn't," he added soothingly.

She nodded, accepting his apology, and turned back to face the water. The silence stretched between them, again.

Alec watched her as she gazed toward the water with unfocused eyes. She looked so...defeated. _I wish there was something I could do...or say...but there's not._ He felt the hopelessness of the situation, and it frustrated him to the point of anger. Then, inspiration struck. It was a stupid idea, juvenile, and possibly suicidal, but, he decided, it was worth a try. He turned to her with a smirk and said, teasingly, "But I bet you wanted to!"

She spun toward him faster than he would have thought possible, and punched him in the arm, hard.

"Ow!" _God, that hurt!_ He rubbed at his arm, a little more dramatically than necessary. Then he grinned, "Okay, I deserved that," and the laughter he'd been trying to contain came bursting out of him.

She stared at him, looking bewildered. Slowly, a smile crept onto her face, as well. "Yes, you did." Then she started chuckling right along with him.

As their laughter died down, his concern for her returned to the front of his mind. _Is she going to be okay?_ He studied her face. A hint of a smile lingered on her lips, and there was a light in her eyes that hadn't been there before. It was a start. Then her eyes met his, and she said, "Thanks, Alec."

He could tell that she really meant it. He smiled gently back at her, and said sincerely, "Any time, Kiera."


End file.
